


New Things

by thechickadee



Category: Saturday Night Live RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-04
Updated: 2014-02-04
Packaged: 2018-01-11 03:42:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1168257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thechickadee/pseuds/thechickadee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wrote this on saturday night about Seth's last show and his move to late night. It starts at the goodnights where he KISSED AMY!!! <3 <3 and continues to my imagination...Anyway i was a mess on saturday and i had to vent, so i just wrote this really quickly. I'm super sad that he's leaving, but I'm glad he got a proper send-off, and I'm so excited to see the potential he reaches on Late Night. Go Seth!</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Things

It's the last second he spends on this stage as part of the surroundings. Every night after this, standing on this stage, he will stand out, and he will be seen in different color and different volume. There will be an almost transparent wall between him and the rest of the cast, separating him from the studio in a quiet way.  
But not quite yet.

He loves feeling like part of the building, part of the stage, on the same ground as everyone around him. But he's ready to break free and grow up and be alone. Because he know he won't really be alone at all.  
He'll be in a whole other world, but just a step away from the past.

He's ready to take that step. This is it; it's time to cross that line that so many have crossed before him.

He waves as Melissa says her thank-you's, a nervous smile on his face. Excitedly, he nudges Amy with his hip, leaning into her. And in this microsecond, it feels so right that she is there next to him, sharing this moment. She is so much of his life that he would feel scared without her by his side, her comforting presence putting him a little at ease, like she always seems to do.  
The crowd erupts and the saxophone sings, and he is ready.  
He turns to his right and kisses her. 

He has never kissed her first. She would always take him by surprise, and he would find her lips pressed against him for a fleeting moment, too startled to react, and she would pull back, all smiles. And he would smile back, unsure of what it meant, but comforted and joyful and happy.

But not this time. He knew exactly where he stood and she was the one who never saw it coming. He wasn't part of the background anymore. He counted.  
He kissed her first. For the world to see.  
If he wanted his outgoing message to be anything, he would want it to be him and Amy, dream team reignited.  
He bends his head and captures her lips quickly, swallowing her sound of surprise. Her arm hovers uncertainly behind him, and even though their eyes are closed, he can tell she's at a loss. But that's ok, because it's time for new things.  
He pulls back and pulls her close at the same time, whispering into her hair. "It means a lot that you're here. I love you, Poehls."  
"I love you too," she whispers into his neck. "Even though you're all grown up now."  
He squeezes her tightly one more time, then turns away to hug Andy, who is waiting patiently behind them. 

He only catches a glimpse of Amy's face after they hug, and her smile is tight, jaw clenched, and he knows why she didn't look him in the eye. 

She hates crying, and he knows that about her, and all he wants to do when he sees her face is hold her until morning, but he doesn't do that. Because he doesn't want to make her cry. She hates crying. 

But he does hold her at the after-after party. He stopped going to those long ago, but apparently he HAS to or Andy will kill him. And he wants this night to last as long as it can. 

Alexi went home after the after-party. He knows he should have asked her to stay, even though she didn't seem to mind, but it's like mixing his memories. He went to after-after parties with Amy and Andy and Tina and Maya in the early days, before he even met Alexi. He loves her, but it's something she has never been a part of.

It's late, but not any later than he's used to. He buys Amy a drink, and she protests like he knew she would. She doesn't drink in front of people and he knows that about her. But he knows she hates crying and he didn't hold her onstage, so he asks if she wants the drink again. He tells her, "do it for me," and she does. Because she hears something different in his voice and understands. It's a time for new things. 

They drink more after that. And maybe time is frozen, because an eternity later, it's still just late.  
And she's not at all what he imagined drunk; she's smooth and soft and slow and gentle, not loud or boisterous like her usual self. 

They're sitting on the floor against the wall, their arms intertwined and her head resting on his shoulder, his thumb making lazy circles on the back of her hand.  
"I'm not as sad as I thought I would be," he says softly. She hums, and he rests his head on top of hers. "I mean, I was so sad when you left, I thought that's how sad I would be. But I guess it's different when you're not the one getting left behind."  
She turns upward, her nose brushing his cheek, her hand tightening in his. "Is that how you thought of it? Me leaving you behind?"  
She sounds scared, and so fragile, like the bare, unprotected version of herself. Maybe this is why she never drinks. And now he holds her. Because its not quite new territory, but a long lost memory he has to retrieve. And if was ever scared to hold her before, he isn't anymore.  
She curls up to his chest, her nose tickling his neck, and she whispers, "I asked you if you wanted to leave, too, remember? You said no."  
"I know," he says. "And I didn't know whether it was the right choice, because I missed you too much. But now I know it was right."  
She nods in silent agreement and he sighs. Holding her is so familiar and old, but it's new. He held her before she left, but that was different: filled with pain that stung his heart, hoping he could keep her to himself for just a little while longer. But that night, she was moving to a different world, one that he didn't yet understand. It felt like a goodbye.  
This time it feels like the beginning. She is the perfect completion of his circles. He started and ended snl with her by his side, and that's how he's starting late night. It's the only way he knows how to start things, how to end things. 

So he sits with her, his head resting on her golden hair, her face turned into his neck, and they end his 13-year run together, in that moment. And they start a new cycle, empty except for the space filled by each other, and the air of excitement and possibility.


End file.
